I Do Something Scary.
I generally keep my posts centered around the projects that I work on. And though I recognize that there may be a few incriminating photos of me on Facebook I try to use social media to promote interesting things and not personal ones, this is a rather personal post. So continue reading at your own risk. It may or may not be graphic in content and inappropriate for children, and the squeamish.
About five years ago I was diagnosed with Lupus. Which was, in the simplest of terms, not awesome. For someone who was petrified of needles, the blood work and biopsy were terrifying. Not to mention the following months of chemotherapy and steroid treatment.
[sample kidney biopsy cells]
After being the “worst case scenario” over and over for months I was finally told I was “in remission”.
Probably the biggest kick in the teeth was a year later discovering that my left femur had died as a result of corti-steroid treatment that I had undergone. So while I’m pretty bitter about not being able to go out for my morning runs anymore I was fairly happy with being “in remission”, and I’ll gladly take the handicapped parking that comes with the *zombie* bones.
[sample zombie femur]
This fall I was alerted by one of my doctors that there was evidence of ongoing kidney inflammation from my lab work. This Wednesday I go in for my next biopsy. Best case scenario: I pay $15’000 for a biopsy that shows I have residual kidney damage from my last flare-up. Worst case scenario: more chemical therapy and anti-body infusions.
I have to admit that between doctors appointments, scheduling “procedures”, getting my medical records in order, and telling my mother ” it’s fine, we’ve done this before.”, I’ve been a little pre-occupied.
However, I have the best support system evar! <3 I have Jerry Giraffendork, who has promised his Wednesday to sit next to a sedated me (and take advantage of the amazing wi-fi University of Michigan’s hospital offers), my parents and five siblings will be circling, and I have amazing friends and teammates.
I feel this post may be a little selfish.But, I also feel that it is necessary to document what my brain has been marinating in. For me there are no real lines; work, romance, education, recreation, family they are all the same thing. And for whatever it’s worth, I’ve taken the red pill, just to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
